The Greatly Misunderstood Supermama

Dedicated to all mothers

Do you often feel your intentions have been misconstrued? The truth is, you are not alone.

Your husband thinks you are a tough cookie

You spouse thinks you can handle any situation from soiled diapers to blackened wok left behind by his dismal culinary skills, even in the darkest moments of low breast milk supply and sleepless nights. And since he can’t meet your standards, he stands back before you yell your head off him.

Reality: You wish you could take longer naps, laze around, and not having to worry about unwashed milk bottles. You wish multi-tasking is off your daily to-do list and that you could cut the pretence of tummy aches just to steal a few seconds of rest in the bathroom. Yes, in such circumstances, toilet seats are the greatest invention ever.

Your mother-in-law thinks you are a high-strung tiger mum

She believes you are simply too fussy with the child and wants things done your way all the time.

Reality: You love your child and you are worried he will grow up with the wrong habits and values. Until your child can be truly independent and mature in thoughts and in deed, you would rather guide him in the direction you best deem fit, even though the process is equally a chore to you, as it is to the person following your desires.

Your child perceives you as the Government

Your kiddo laments: “You never let me do anything!” He thinks you govern his life so much that he’s SUFFERING from zero freedom.

Reality: You are SUFFERING from zero time and zero energy. You don’t want the kid to jump off the table and suffer pain and bruises. You would rather not have to deal with an injured arm or leg, just as you don’t wish to have to deal with shirts soiled from playing near the muddy puddle. The time could be better spent catching a quick nap or finishing the last page of your report in peace.

Friends think you are a superglue to your kids

Friends often feel the difference after you have kids. Those without kids would think you are simply obsessed and too glued to your kids. They ask to hang out together because you need to give yourself some ME time…

Reality: You hardly spend quality time with your child. You are usually too tied up with work or housework, so minutes could be so precious to you. A late night out would mean even less face time with your little one. And it’s not the obsession over the kid that makes you forget your best friends’ birthdays. Your mind is perpetually overwhelmed by the daily tasks that it’s hard not to suffer from fleeting amnesia. It’s really not intentional.

Your boss thinks you have changed into the mother duck

Your boss thinks you have lost your aspirations to climb up the corporate ladder and would rather focus on being the mother of the year. She may even think you are ducking (pun intended) the heavier projects for small-time credits so that you can spend more time with your family.

Reality: You still want your self-worth and wish you could excel like before – get recognised and promoted for closing big deals. But when your child is running a fever or is having issues at school, you want to be there for him, as much as you want to be in your boss’ room leading a presentation that may well decide your corporate fate.

Let’s get it right here. You are really important, and no one should doubt your worth. After all, you contributed to the birth rate and procreation of human beings. And you are certainly not alone in these misperceptions. But do take a step back and visit how some of these perceptions were formed. Could it be the physical cues or your words that have caused your intentions to be misunderstood? Would better communication help to clear the air?

Mummies out there, sometimes it’s alright to loosen up a little and be surprised at how nature puts things in place for you. With Mother’s Day round the corner, perhaps the supermama in you could give yourself a break and discover the real meaning of motherhood. Please, enjoy the occasion!