5 Ways to Know If Your Child Hates Preschool

Going through that agonising first time when your precious baby has to leave your arms and enter a strange new world – one that doesn’t include your 24/7 presence – can make the worst fears and insecurities about his happiness and health arise. Here’re some ways you can find out if your fears are unwarranted, or if something needs to be done.

1. Wait a little while

Before jumping to any conclusion, give your baby 2-6 weeks to get used to his new environment. Within this adjustment period he may exhibit distressing behaviours such as crying, tantrum-throwing, and becoming withdrawn or aggressive – but try not to overreact. These behaviours are usually temporary, and will cease once your child fully settles into his preschool.

If your child continues to be unhappy after more than a couple of months, it may be time for you to speak to his teacher and find out what the problem is.

2. Communicate with his teacher

On top of reading regular report cards, portfolios or records from the preschool on your little one’s progress, be sure to maintain a good relationship with his teacher and communicate regularly so you can keep up with how he’s doing in school.

This does not mean you should be calling the poor teacher on his mobile at all hours, though! Instead, try to catch him for a quick chat every now and then when you drop off or pick up Junior at school. Remembering special occasions like Teacher’s Day and dropping off a small token of appreciation also helps you maintain good relations with your child’s alternate caregiver (which is something you’d definitely want with the person who is your baby’s first line of defence against all things bad at school!)

3. Observe his moods

Often, young children in distress don’t communicate their unhappiness verbally (as if it isn’t already difficult enough trying to figure out what’s going on in their heads) and instead let their emotions manifest in negative behaviours. Careful observation of your child’s body language and moods when he comes home from school may give you a heads-up if something’s wrong.

Though this may sound pretty ‘duh’, sometimes a shift in behaviour can occur so gradually that parents don’t notice anything wrong until a more developed stage. Don’t wait till that happens – pay attention if he starts acting more withdrawn, sullen, frustrated or aggressive past the transitional period, as these may be signs of bullying or frustration from a learning disability.

4. Encourage him to talk about his own progress

Asking your child about his day at school and telling him to teach you what he learnt is a great way to catch up, bond with your child, and also get an idea of how he’s coping with preschool. Try to ask detailed questions about his friends, his teacher, and his activities rather than a generic ‘how was school?’.

If your child appears to withdraw or refuse to talk about school, or never seems to be able to tell you what he learnt in class, you might need to dig deeper and find out if something is wrong.

5. Check for unexplained bruises or bite marks

Biting is a common problem for preschool-aged children who have not quite developed means of dealing with frustration, anxiety, fear or anger yet. Though it rarely does any long-term damage, take bite marks seriously and be sure to let your child’s teacher know if you spot any, as biting incidents sometimes go unnoticed (especially in large classes).

Bruises are more innocuous, as young children still in the process of developing their motor skills are cute little klutzes who will inevitably fall down or bang into objects at times. Seeing bruises on a regular basis, however, is a cause for concern and calls for a talk with your child’s teacher.

Conclusion

Now that you’re all set, sit back, relax and watch your child grow. Amidst all the stress, worrying, anxiety and second-guessing, don’t forget to take a step back now and then to enjoy this treasured time you have with your child as a child; remember that these precious years only come once.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” Anne Frank.