To Spank Or Not to Spank?

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

But is that really the case?

The age-old debate on whether corporal punishment is appropriate for misbehaving kids rages on, fueled by increasing accounts of pampered, strawberry-generation youngsters raising hell over teachers who dared enforce discipline at school.

Instilling discipline with pain is something that the older generation would hardly bat an eyelid at – with many having been subjected to painful lashings at home and in school themselves – but the world as we know it is markedly different today. While some are of the opinion that there is nothing like a good ol’ spanking to whip a child back into shape, still others advocate for more civilised, less archaic methods of getting through to their kids.

So who is right?

What the experts say


Unfortunately for the older generation, numerous research studies have arrived at the same conclusion: that spanking should not be encouraged as a disciplinary method. American developmental psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff conducted studies in 2013 exploring the effects of physical punishment on children, and discovered that time-outs worked just as well as spanking when it came to immediate compliance on the child’s part. These time-outs worked even better in the long-run, showing more long-term compliance results than spanking did.

Her study also revealed that physical punishment had the effect of increasing the aggressive tendencies of children, to the extent that they become more likely to be physically abusive towards their family members and spouses in future.

What some parents say


“I’m not comfortable with caning my daughter.” says Jenny Wong, citing her concerns about cultivating an environment of fear. “For me, I make her go on time-out in her naughty corner. When I talk to her seriously, she knows that I mean business. Of course, kids are not automatically well-behaved – bringing up good children is something that needs a lot of time.”

Controlled spanking

Of course, physical punishment in small, controlled doses is unlikely to cause any kind of long-term damage to yourself or your child. If you must spank, the key is control – there is a clear difference between beating a child out of anger and frustration and doling out physical punishment that has a clear sense of purpose and is proportionate to their transgression, not to how you feel.

Explained mother-of-two Amelia Lee: “When I cane my kids, obviously I’m upset with them at that point but I make sure never to let my anger take control of the situation. I also talk to them afterwards to explain why they had to be disciplined, and I remind them that I love them.”

But Mrs Lee also stresses that it is not a disciplinary method that should be used every time a child misbehaves. “I only use it as a last resort. If it becomes a common occurrence, they will not take it as seriously as they should.”

Do it behind closed doors

Spanking – or any other kind of physical punishment – should most definitely not occur in public places, if it has to occur at all. In a 2012 report by CNN, psychologist Dr. Barbara Greenberg explained: “Physical punishment instills a feeling of shame…and shame is one of the most intolerable feelings to experience.” According to Dr. Greenberg, shame often also has the side effect of leading to a child becoming more at risk of anxiety and depression.

So spare your child that embarrassment – no transgression is worth those toxic emotions, and you risk damaging the bond with your children permanently as well.

Conclusion

Ultimately, there is no one foolproof universal disciplinary method
 that guarantees good behaviour. In an CNN interview, expert on nurturing methods for children Po Bronson said: “Kids need to be taught right and wrong, but the presumption we need to punish them to teach them is not supported by the science. It’s not clear at all that punishment – in any form – is the answer, even though every culture uses punishment in some form.”

Instead of thinking about the best way to punish your child, why not try thinking about the problem from a different perspective – how best can you get them to understand what is right and wrong? Ultimately, a keen sense of justice, morality and ethics will protect your child far beyond his spank-able years.