What I Learnt After Changing My Son’s Pre-School Twice

When my son was 2 years old, he was attending a relatively well-known Montessori school at Toa Payoh. I was quite optimistic that it would be a good fit, since the school claimed to encourage positive self-discovery and love for learning.

But then I began to notice angry red blisters appearing on my son’s bum. I checked with the school and found out that the teacher’s aide had been using baby wipes that were obviously not baby-safe. Obviously, I asked them to stop but my request fell on deaf ears.

Then things got worse. My mother told me one day about about an impatient teacher who forcefully yanked my son’s arm at dismissal. She had apparently done the same to the other kids. A few of  the parents and I raised the upsetting issue to the principal, but she did little to remedy the situation.

It wasn’t long before I made the switch to another preschool, this time nearer to our home. I was initially worried that I was short-changing my son since this new school wasn’t as established as the first. But my son enjoyed going to school, learned well and made many new friends, and more importantly, had kind and encouraging teachers.

But sadly, this happy arrangement didn’t last.

All the teachers were suddenly replaced by an entirely new staff (save for one). Even the principal wasn’t spared. The syllabus also underwent a complete revamp – the cheerful illustrations on the walls gave way to stark, white walls devoid of the children’s creative expression.

My son was left at a loss. He missed all his old teachers whom he had come to love and depended on. And I was called in more times than previously, since the new hires were unaware of his medical condition and they weren’t trained to deal with his occasional outspokenness and hyper-activeness like his previous teachers.

I toyed with the idea of changing his preschool yet again. We recently moved house and the commute to and fro was exhausting, plus my son was obviously unhappy. So we made a second and final move to a preschool near my office.

This one came with an outdoor play area, gardening patch, and lively, colourful walls plastered with children’s artwork! Although my son struggled and pined for his old school in the early days, I was happy to see that he quickly got over this difficult phase. The teachers were loving and patient, and worked really well with the parents to seek the best outcome for each child. Overall, the school’s focus on academic, character development and holistic learning was well-balanced and effective. It was by far the best choice for my son.

Changing of pre-schools hasn’t been easy, and resettling in a new environment can be stressful to both parents and child. So, what have I learnt from experience?

• Don’t dismiss your child’s complaints. Younger kids may struggle to articulate their feelings clearly, so it is important to provide a listening ear and understand what your child is going through at school. If you notice something amiss – frequent bruising, mistreatment by a pre-school staff – notify the school immediately and do not hesitate to get your child out safely and quickly where necessary.
• Branded doesn’t mean it’s good. What matters is having genuinely teachers who love teaching and being with your kids. Children can sense disinterest in a heartbeat and having bad teachers would only serve to make them dread going to school.
• A good balance of academia, character and overall holistic development of a child should be the focus of any good school. Join discussion groups, read up on reviews, talk to other parents and attend preschool open houses to see everything for yourself before coming to a decision.
• Mentally and emotionally prepare your child so he or she is aware of your intention. Visit the pre-school together and let your child get familiar with the new environment and new faces. Be as excited as you can about the change by letting your child know what to expect, such as making new friends and doing new exciting activities!
• Give your kid time to adjust to his new school life and don’t get impatient if things don’t go the way you hope in the early days. Work closely with the school to help them understand your child’s needs for a smoother transition.
• Make this your last resort. Most adults don’t even like changing jobs or moving houses, so you can imagine how anxious your child must feel when he is suddenly plucked away from his circle of friends. Petty reasons such as not liking the other parents in the old school or how the uniform looks, are not worth your child’s anguish.

That said, no pre-school is perfect. If you find that the current preschool obviously has negative impacts on your child’s development or behaviour, discuss with the pre-school for a resolution and suggestions for improvement. If all comes to naught, it’s time to seek a better option, one that will truly bring the best out of your child.