Can My Helper Really Help Me?

“Helper A poured pee into my son’s porridge!”

“Helper B left my toddler unattended at a busy car park while she chatted with her friends, and he was nearly knocked down by a lorry! “

”Why, oh why, can’t I get a helper who can HELP me?”

These are just a few of the very real frustrations that modern parents face. A paper-conducted poll found that 15 out of 20 young parents do not trust domestic helpers well enough to leave their children alone with them, but are forced to do due to unrelenting work commitments.

We’ve found a group of parents – each of whom have young children at home and have had a helper for at least a year – to share their tips on finding the best helper to suit your needs.

1. Language

Don’t underestimate the problems that a language barrier can cause! If your helper isn’t able to understand your instructions, she is incapable of delivering the results you are after even if she really, really wanted to. Your children are also hampered from effective communication with her, which could prove dangerous in certain circumstances.

If you think that your helper can pick up basic English on the job, think again. Learning a whole new language is no easy feat, and requires a lot of dedication on both you and your helper’s part – so unless you’re willing to put that effort into teaching, finding a helper who is proficient in you and your family’s first language should be a top priority for you.

2. Patience

When you have young children in the house, extra patience is required of all adults under the same roof – including your helper. Find someone who can handle tantrums and understand the fickle needs of children, preferably a  helper who has worked with or have had children before.

3. ‘No’ to Smartphones

While you should try to provide a simple phone with basic functions to your helper so she can make calls during an emergency, a smart phone represents unnecessary distraction. You don’t want a helper who is glued on Facebook and chatting with strangers instead of being focused on watching over your children!

4. ‘No’ to boyfriends

Although this may sound a little harsh, this point was unanimously agreed upon by all parents interviewed. Due to the many dangers that present themselves should the helper be involved in a romantic relationship while employed in your household, our interviewees recommended a strong stance on this.

But your helper is human too, and feeling lonely in a foreign land is often inevitable. To help them combat the loneliness, offer other means of support. One interviewee, Lydia, revealed that allowing her helper to contact family in the Philippines every evening worked well in her household: on top of motivating her helper and easing her loneliness, the helper also expressed gratitude at the gesture.

5. Respect your helper

Your helper is not a slave of yours but an employee with equal human rights – treat her with respect, consideration and care, and she’d do the same for you and your family. A happy helper is a happy employer, and the best helper-employer relationships bear the best fruit.

So, can a helper really help you?

Yes, she can.